Causes and Solutions to a Sexless Marriage

Sexual interaction is frequently what distinguishes a passionate relationship from a platonic acquaintance. Some couples develop a style or habit of neglecting the physical aspects of their marriage, while others started with little or no sex.

During the first few years of marriage, many partners notice a decline in sexual and physical closeness, especially if children are involved. The full loss of physical intimacy that was formerly a feature of the relationship, on the other hand, often indicates an issue that must be remedied.

Married couples might become more-or-less housemates without the physical affection that distinguishes a love relationship from a neutral one. This type of relationship isn’t causing an alarm if both partners are comfortable with it. However, the lack of physical intimacy and sex frequently frustrates or hurts one or both spouses.

What Is a Non-Sexual Relationship?

A sexless marriage is one in which the partners do not engage in any sexual contact. Many couples go through phases of increased and decreased sexual activity. A “sexless” period isn’t usually defined as a period with less sex. While there is no technical definition, many people consider a sexless marriage to be one in which the couple hasn’t had sex in a year or more.

A sexless relationship can occur for a variety of reasons. It is up to the individuals to decide whether or not being in a sexless relationship is an issue, but if it is, there are ways to work through it both jointly and independently.

Typical Factors Responsible for Reduced Sex in Marriage

There are a variety of reasons why a marriage may become passionless, ranging from health concerns to lifestyle choices. Below is a rundown of some of the most prevalent explanations.

Health Concerns

The physical and emotional health of a person can have a massive effect on their drive and desire for sexual closeness. In both sexes, health concerns and disabilities can disturb the biological process of sexual excitement.

While it may be normal to have some issues with sexual performance at some point, when it continues for more than a few months or is making things difficult for you or your partner, then it would be a smart option to see a doctor.

Libidos that don’t mix

The desire for sex has innate ups and downs, and not everyone craves the same volume of sex. When a couple’s urge for sex does not correspond, it’s easy for them to wait until both partners are in the mood, which isn’t always the case.


There is no set time after childbirth when someone can have sex again, but many healthcare practitioners advise waiting at least four to six weeks for physical recuperation.

This period of no sex isn’t long enough to be termed a true “sexless marriage,” but whether or not the person who gave birth is physically and psychologically prepared to have sex thereafter is an important consideration.

After having a kid, the increased stress of caring for a newborn, as well as body changes, fatigue, and hormonal issues, can all impair a person’s sex drive.

Prolonged stress can hurt your health, including your sexual drive. 4 Cortisol, a stress hormone, has been linked to a reduction in libido. The psychological aspects of pressure can leave you so weary, overwhelmed, and worried that you just don’t have the urge or strength for sex, due to the mentioned reasons why stress affects sex drive.

Issues with Communication

The sexual attraction might be tough to sustain while you and your partner are fighting. You may not even want to talk to your lover, much less engage in intimate activities.


This is a condition that affects men, with a variety of causes leading to difficulty obtaining or keeping an erection might make it difficult to have sex.

While erectile dysfunction (ED) is a typical problem, it can also hurt a person’s emotional distress, self-belief, and self-esteem. ED manifestations should therefore be discussed with a physician, as they could indicate an inherent health problem.

Complications of Drugs

There are sexual drive reactions to several drugs. Over-the-counter medications such as decongestants, antidepressants, and high blood pressure medications are all examples of pharmaceuticals that might induce sexual dysfunction.

Abuse Experiences

Sex assault in the past can have long-term consequences that impact ongoing and prospective relationships.

Fright and humiliation, as well as post-traumatic stress and personality misalignments, can all have a detrimental effect on a person’s sexual life.

Concerns About Your Life

Getting older, body shape difficulties, loneliness, financial difficulties, sorrow, and a variety of other life variables can all influence how often people participate in sex with their partners.

How to Deal with the Problem

The first step is to recognize that you have a poor or no-sex marriage and to determine whether or not this is a challenge in your relationship. It is totally up to you and your partner whether you perceive a low-sex or no-sex marriage to be a problem.

Avoid making comparisons to other marriages because each one is unique. While data may lead you to believe that you and your spouse are not having sufficient sex, a study has revealed that going without sex is more frequent than you might imagine.

If a lack of intimacy in your marriage is an issue for you and your partner, here are some solutions.


Discuss the topic of low or no sex in your marriage with your partner. This communication is vital, even if it is tough. Sexuality and affection issues can arise in even the most stable of relationships. It isn’t always an indication that your marriage is in peril.

If you’re having trouble finding out how to talk to your partner, get assistance from a medical professional or therapist. It’s critical to keep the talk friendly and avoid making your spouse feel as if they’re being scolded or harassed.

Create a Sense of Belonging

Try incorporating sex on your agenda if you’ve decided you want to have more sex. It may seem unsexy, but when done well, it can also be fascinating and unique. Planning offers you something to anticipate and demonstrates your dedication to each other and your physical relationship.

In low-sex or no-sex relationships, it’s equally crucial to look for alternative ways to establish intimacy that is typically overlooked. Sex isn’t the sole aspect of a physical connection. Attempt to rekindle your love and rekindle that unique flame.

Look for Assistance

Requesting professional help, regarding the underlying problems, maybe a viable alternative. To aid communication and connection, consider attending a marital retreat, workshop, or lecture.

Seek medical assistance if you have any underlying medical issues that are interfering with your sex life. To improve communication abilities or learn strategies for coping, seek help from a mental health professional, either jointly or independently.

Explore seeing a counselor who specializes in sexual disorders in marriage, such as a professional sex therapist, if counseling feels like the correct path for you. Your therapist can help you work through any issues that are preventing you from feeling close to your partner. Use these occasions to concentrate on strengthening and deepening your relationship.

In conclusion, it is up to the pair to decide whether or not being in a sexless relationship is a bummer. However, if you’re in a sexless marriage or unhappy with the quantity of sex you and your partner are having, the first step is to talk to your partner about it and figure out how you can find the sensuality that each of you requires to be pleased.

Ajisebutu Doyinsola
Ajisebutu Doyinsola
Doyinsola Ajisebutu is a journalist, mother, and prolific writer who takes a special interest in finance, insurance, lifestyle, parenting, business, and the Tech world.

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